National Network for Equitable Library Service

"Cowboys often have the best lines! Here are some witty cowboy expressions, tale tales, jokes, quotes and cowboy wisdom."--

Witty and truthful, this loving monologue outlines the fact that two is a million more kids than one - and as you probably know by now, you shouldn't read it to a child.

Monty was just like any other dog. A scruffy and irascible Maltese terrier, he enjoyed barking at pugs and sniffing at trees. But after Monty has yet another dramatic confrontation with the local Rottweiler, Anthony McGowan realizes it's high time he and Monty had a chat about what makes him a good or a bad dog. Taking his lead from Monty's canine antics, McGowan takes us on a hilarious and enlightening jaunt through the major debates of philosophy. Will Kant convince Monty to stop stealing cheesecake? How long will they put up with Socrates poking holes in every argument?

Big-nosed, brash, and boisterous, beloved entertainer Jimmy Durante parlayed a career in vaudeville, nightclubs, and Broadway shows into a radio career highlighted by many successful programs throughout the 1930s and 1940s. After spending the war years paired with crewcutted comic Garry Moore, the Great Schnozzola went solo in 1947 in an hilarious series for Rexall Drugs that also featured Arthur Treacher as his sarcastic British butler, multi-voiced character comedians Candy Candido and Elvia Allman, musical numbers by Peggy Lee, and a raft of well-known guest stars.

Big-nosed, brash, and boisterous, beloved entertainer Jimmy Durante parlayed his experience in vaudeville, nightclubs, and Broadway shows into a radio career highlighted by many successful programs throughout the 1930s and 1940s. After spending the war years paired with crewcutted comic Garry Moore, the Great Schnozzola went solo in 1947 in an hilarious series for Rexall Drugs that also featured "the glamour boy of the girdle set" Victor Moore, multi-voiced character comedians Candy Candido and Elvia Allman, musical numbers by Peggy Lee, and a series of well-known guest stars.

He butchered the English language. He sang as if he gargled with gravel. He dropped pearls of wisdom disguised as one-liners. And he had a nose that got everywhere ten minutes before he did. All of this and a genuine love for his craft and the people who enjoyed it made Jimmy Durante a star in the Golden Age of Radio and still keeps him in the minds and hearts of fans today. The Jimmy Durante Show, Volume 3 consists of five hours of what makes Durante a legendary character. The Jimmy Durante Show, Volume 3 is proof that Jimmy Durante can still leave 'em laughing!

Costello is going to play baseball with the New York Yankees. This leads to the famous, Who's On First routine.

This program is read by the authors. The highly anticipated first book by Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark, the voices behind the #1 hit podcast My Favorite Murder! Sharing never-before-heard stories ranging from their struggles with depression, eating disorders, and addiction, Karen and Georgia irreverently recount their biggest mistakes and deepest fears, reflecting on the formative life events that shaped them into two of the most followed voices in the nation.

The funny, sad, super-honest, all-true story of Chelsea Handler's year of self-discovery-featuring a nerdily brilliant psychiatrist, a shaman, four Chow Chows, some well-placed security cameras, various family members (living and departed), friends, assistants, and a lot of edibles "This will be one of your favorite books of all time."-Amy Schumer. In a haze of vape smoke on a rare windy night in L.A. in the fall of 2016, Chelsea Handler daydreams about what life will be like with a woman in the White House. And then Donald Trump happens.

The world's most entertaining and useless self-help guide, from the brilliant mind behind the wildly popular webcomic xkcd and the #1 New York Times bestsellers What If? and Thing Explainer. For any task you might want to do, there's a right way, a wrong way, and a way so monumentally bad that no one would ever try it. How To is a guide to the third kind of approach. It's full of highly impractical advice for everything from landing a plane to digging a hole.